A Merry Christmas Message

I hope you have had a great Thanksgiving.  We are ten days from Christmas and I know that some of you have plans, parties and shopping to do.  Thank you for taking a few minutes to read the blog.

I would like to share with you a video that changed our family's Christmas over 5 years ago from the Advent Conspiracy




At the time, I was VERY busy trying to make hundreds of cookies and mini breads to give away to friends and family for Christmas, cleaning the house, and spending lots of time stressing out over buying the perfect gift for family AND trying to "fit Jesus" into Christmas.  I was trying to do both my family traditions and my husband's family traditions.   Most of the time, we would have marathon Advent Calendar meetings where we would go through 5 days at a time because we weren't home enough to do the daily readings.

I don't know how I even was directed to this.  I showed it to my husband and we started taking baby steps toward making this a reality.  We started out by limiting gifts to our kids to just three--just like Jesus received three gifts.  Instead of having each child buy a gift for all siblings and parents, we decided to have our kids draw one sibling's name in a gift exchange.  Another year, instead of spending lots of time ignoring my kids while I baked, I started inviting a family or two to come over and bake with me and we would split the cookies.  The kids didn't necessarily help much, but they usually had friends, which built relationships and I got mommy time.  My in-laws helped in our giving because they decided that they didn't need any more stuff and started asking us to give to their organizations.  A few years later, I decided that we should exchange non-material gifts of service for the year.  This year, we decided as a family to help an  organization by giving our time one day out of the year.  Our Christmases aren't perfect, but they are more memorable.

The biggest issue is still keeping Jesus as the primary focus of the holiday.  The past four years, we have been so busy with kids activities, we still have been having marathon Advent sessions.  Even this year, we don't have a standard time each day.  We still probably spend more time focusing on gift giving rather than spending time in prayer and meditation and relationally.  But I also know that our Christmas season is far less stressful because I have given up a lot of traditions that have nothing to do with Christ's birth and so we enjoy each other just a little bit more.  And there is nothing bad or ugly about that.

To Co-Op or Not to Co-Op

I have a confession to make.  I am not in a good place.  For too long, I have tried to do too much.  I have become a slave to the curriculum.  I have made a lot of the mistakes I listed in the last posts.   And I am exhausted, spent, uninspired.  I have considered ending my career as a homeschooling mom. That is the ugly news.  I see the effects on my family and know that it takes time to undo the damage, which is the bad news.  The good news is that God is dragging me through this, showing me where and how to lighten my load and my family's load and proving to me how He truly redeems bad situations.  Thank you, Jesus for unconditional love and faithfulness!  My situation has been what has inspired past posts, but it is also coloring this post.

For those homeschooling newbies out there, "co-op" is shorthand for "co-operative education."  A co-op is a group of homeschooling families getting together at a regular time during the school year in more of a classroom environment with either:

1.  The parents take turns during the course of a school year teaching a particular subject(s) OR

2.  Parents with different skill sets gather to teach to their particular skill set in a barter-like system.

I have been involved in a two-family barter-like co-op, a medium sized co-op and recently a big co-op.  Generally, the co-op organizers expect you to make a school year commitment, so don't join if you are not absolutely sure you can make the commitment.  And there is usually a nominal cost involved.   As always, there are good things about them, bad things and sometimes ugly things.

The Good:

• Co-ops can lighten your load if they are organized right.  Just having one less thing to do can be amazingly helpful.
• Co-ops can be a way to forge life-long friendships with your kids.  They also provide your kids a break from their siblings and a non-family socialization.  This is especially true of smaller co-ops.
• P.E. co-ops specifically can help introduce your kid to team sports without having to actually sign up for one.
• Co-ops expand your child's horizons not just through the curriculum, but also to get them used to other teaching styles.  It gives  you a chance to witness other teaching styles.
• Co-ops can be a way to forge life-long friendships between mothers, who can encourage you when you are having a tough day/week/month.
• Co-ops are a great way of showing God's grace to people who are not in your family.

The Bad:

• Co-ops require more work in the short term.  I know this sounds like the opposite of the first bullet in the "Good" category, but the week you have to teach will require a lot more preparation from you than your normal, non-co-op days and teaching a classroom is harder than teaching just a few kids.  You have to work to get your own kids out the door with all of the supplies they need for the classes, plus possibly breakfast/lunch fixings.   Some co-ops will require you to have your teaching plan prepared a week in advance.  If it is a barter-system and a big co-op, they might make you have your year planned.
• Being involved in a co-op when you have babies, toddlers and pre-schoolers can be extremely difficult, especially if there is no child care for younger kids provided.  I speak from personal experience when I say that teaching a class of homeschooled kids when you have a toddler who wants your undivided attention sucks all energy from you and leaves you a brain-dead jellyfish for the rest of the day.  If the co-op does not provide child care for younger kids, my advice is to find one that does, pay for child care, or if those are not options, wait to join until all your kids are old enough to participate.  
• If you do not view co-ops properly and adjust your schooling accordingly, you could be adding to your kid's stress level.  Consider it school.  This might sound like "duh", but many moms I have met, myself included at one point, considered it more of an "extra-curricular activity."
• After co-op is done for the day, give you and your kids a chance to decompress, especially if you or one of your kids is an introvert.  
• The bigger the co-op, the higher probability of bullying, both with adults and children, even in Christian co-ops because all have sinned.  Double the probability for P.E. co-ops., though my only experience with a P.E. co-op involved watching middle school kids play team sports with elementary aged kids in a beautiful display of grace (I totally miss H.A.M.I.C. PE, which unfortunately dissolved shortly after I move away.  This was purely a coincidence and is a perfect lead-in to the ugly part)

The Ugly

• Sometimes, co-ops fail.  Co-ops involve a lot more imperfect people managing things.  Tempers flare, harsh words are spoken, feelings are hurt.  This happens with the adults as well as the kids.  Grieve, wail, mourn.  Forgive.  Learn from your experience.  Protect your family above all else.  
• If the co-op is unorganized or takes on too much for its size, the burden created by the co-op becomes heavier than the load it lightens.  I had to bail on a co-op two weeks into the "school year" because too many families decided to bail on the co-op and the workload for the remaining families was too much.  This realization totally conflicted with my desire to faithful to my commitments, but I also envisioned me having weekly breakdowns from September until May trying to meet its requirements.  Remember that if it comes down to a co-op or your mental stability, always let your mental stability win because your mental stability affects your family's mental stability.  Protect your family above all else.  

There are a few different options to co-op classes:

• Paying for outside classes.  I generally outsource art classes because that is an area where I have no talent.  For a couple years, I paid for my kids to be in a PE group.  Last year, a group of families with high school students got together and paid a teacher to teach chemistry.  They also paid facility fees and lab fees.  There is a higher cost, but a lighter load than co-ops.
• Social-based homeschooling groups:  These are valid options if you are looking for support and friends without the additional burden of having to prepare lesson plans.
• You could consider a two-family co-op more of a barter system than a "real" co-op.
• For older kids, outside apprentice-ships in an area of their interest.  This requires research.

Above all, don't load yourself down with too many activities, even if those activities look incredibly enticing because they will put unnecessary burdens on you and your family.  Protect your family above all.

Happy Homeschooling (or not!)

Curriculum Cunundrum

In the last post, I discussed reasons for homeschooling.  This week I am tackling the next subject:  curriculum.

Homeschooling parents who are now grandparents will tell you that we have it easy because when THEY were homeschooling, there were only a few curriculum packages out there.  However, to a newbie homeschooling family, they might view the huge variety of curriculum out there like a Sudanese refugee might view a trip to an American grocery store--too many choices can be overwhelming.  My purpose is not to tell you curriculum XYZ is the best, but to help you think through your choices. Before you choose a curriculum, here are a few things you might want to figure out first (which, by the way, is not necessarily what I did.)

• Figure out your kids.  What motivates them, what interests them, and how do they learn best. To help you on that last item, you can buy, or even check out of your local libary, How they Learn by Cynthia Tobias.  She talks not only about different learning styles and different processing styles, but she also talks about how kids thrive in different environments.  She gives practical ways to assess your children.  For instance, my youngest needs silence while the rest of my kids like music.  This means that my original plan to have us all studying together in one room might not work out well.  One child really likes to do all their work on the sofa, rather on the recommended desks.  If you have really young kids, spend your time in homeschool figuring these things out.  
• Figure out what is your family's identity and what is REALLY important to you.  For instance, we generally are a family who loves to read, watch movies and do stuff outside, like camping.  My husband and I are also science geeks.  The thing is, you will not be able to focus on everything without driving you and your kids crazy and making school dull drudgery.  Make sure they get the basics, like reading, writing, and math, but anything else is extra.  And there are ways to incorporate other subjects within those three.  For example, history has the word "story" in it.  Historical fiction or just "living history books" which is a fancy way of saying history lessons written in storybook format is a great way to get some history in your kids. 
• If you have more than one kid, chances are, that at least one of your child will not line up with your family identity.  My husband and I are science geeks, but we have a really talented artist in our family.  I had all of my kids take art lessons, but she took more because that is what she really liked to do.  Another family I know is a couple who both majored in art, but their oldest is really into programming and science.  This is proof that God has a sense of humor.   If you keep your schedule down to basics, you are far more adaptable to add extras based on your kid's interests.  Now if you your kids are 
• When you go looking for curriculum, you need to know the underlying teaching philosophy behind the curriculum.  I have found really good website to describe the different philosophies at The Homeschool Diner.  Go there and figure out which philosophy resonates with you, then go search for curriculum within that philosophy. 
• Also ask yourself what you want out of the curriculum.  Do you want something that is very structured, a curriculum that you can pull "out of a box" or do you
• What is your budget?  This will have a huge impact on what you will choose.  There are some free curriculum out there.
• Don't be a slave to the curriculum.  It is very easy to serve the curriculum rather than letting the curriculum serve you, especially if you buy a box curriculum.  The box curriculums usually give you more than you can possibly do in a week.  Decide what you want to do and ignore the rest.  There is another way in which you can be a slave:  if the curriculum is not working for you or your family, don't be afraid to dump it.  Dump it mid-season, especially if you or your kids are finding yourself having a breakdown more than once a quarter over it.  If you can't afford another curriculum, use the library to have your kids explore their interests, take time to explore your community by going on field trips or just take some time off while you figure out a replacement.  The best curriculum is not necessarily the most expensive one.  

The Good:  Know that this is a continuous process.  Your kids will change, their preferences will change, your educational needs will change.  You will not scar your kids for life if you choose a bad curriculum.  There is no perfect educational process and no perfect curriculum.  Let go of perfectionism.  For me, this is a daily process.  Even this year, I re-evaluated the curriculum I had been using and decided to dump most of the stuff we had been doing as "non-optional" and change it to "extra credit" because I was trying to do it all.  

The Bad:   This requires a lot of work and, like laundry and housework, might seem to never end

The Ugly:  Curriculum research can easily suck up more time than you actually spend teaching.  Set a limit for research and get your spouse involved or even another homeschooling parent.

Next subject:  Co-ops

Considering homeschooling

picture was copied from http://annealtman.blogspot.com/

I should have written this sometime in the spring or summer in order to be really helpful for people who want to make the homeschooling decision before school starts.  However, the truth is, you can decide to homeschool at any time during the school year.  Or you can decide to stop homeschooling at any time during the school year.  Sometimes, we THINK that we need to abide by the rules of when a school year should start so that our child/children get to enjoy the "full experience" and establish friendships at the beginning because, of course, once the school year starts, relationships are cemented and can never be altered (sarcasm is dripping here because as a public schooled kid, I experienced friends coming and going throughout a school year, depending on the circumstances).  So do not be slaves to someone else's timeline, but consider what is best for your family, even in the middle of the school year.  Deciding to homeschool should not be done on a whim.  There are sacrifices that will be made by both you and your spouse, there is opposition, sometimes openly belligerent, sometimes more subtle, second-guessing of your decision which will whisper in your brain every time you have a bad day or bad week or bad month. Or bad year--yes, that is the ugly side to homeschooling.

I was contacted several months ago by a writer in the United Kingdom who wrote about some practical, financial considerations for homeschooling.  You can find the article here.  Because this was written for UK parents, some of these considerations are not an issue for American parents.  For instance, most American schools provide transportation within their district.  Clothing costs are always an issue, however, because even if your child does not have to wear a uniform, there is a cost of being fashionable that can be extremely high for girls but is even present for boys.  But this is a very good summary of financial considerations.  And financial reasons are important though they can be issues that are overcome.

In addition, you need consider WHY you want to homeschool.  There are a variety of reasons people give for homeschooling their kid(s) and I have placed them in my standard categories.  The reasons you make will determine how successful you will be in this venture and will sustain you during the bad and ugly times in your homeschool adventure.

The Good Reasons:
*  If you do this right, your relationship with your children can be very close.  What I have learned from some pretty spectular failures is that the relationship is the most important part of your homeschool decision, not the education.  You will get to know your children VERY well and they will get to know you.
*  For those of you who believe in God the ability to include Bible study, prayer and worship in your school is a bonus.  We want our kids to be reliable, kind, honest adults.  Character development, however, is not necessarily dependent on religious convictions because we all want our kids to be hard workers, help others and be loving people.
*  You can help your child learn, adapting resources to suit their learning styles. (more on this later)
*  You can change curriculum that doesn't work at ANY point in time.  PLEASE take advantage of this benefit if you decide to homeschool.  Money wasted is better than a whole year wasted.
*  A guilty pleasure is that you can set your own schedule and go on vacation anywhere, including, let's say, Walt Disney World, at non-peak season and reap the savings.
*  If you are very good at this, which I am not, you can integrate your curriculum with life skills and teach your kids that learning never ends.
*  You want your kids to learn about grace and forgiveness both by giving it and by needing it from them.
*  You want them to be able to develop naturally, at their own speed and have time to develop interests.  NOTE:  This is not the same as letting them do "whatever" and "whenever".  It means that you don't stress out if your kid isn't reading by 6 because some kids don't or because your kid is behind in math or because your six year old boy can't sit still.  There is no daily peer pressure from kids and very little from outside adults to live up to what the current group of experts has determined to be "normal" development.
*  You want to limit their exposure to negative social influences like peer pressure, bullying, etc.  If your kids do stuff outside the home, whether in co-ops, sports, or other extra-curricular activities, your kids will get social interaction, including dealing with bullies without being exposed to bad influences 8 hours a day/5 days a week, 36 weeks a year.
*  Kids learn how to interact with people of all ages and generally don't develop age-based eletists attitudes, though I am finding it creeping into some of my kids.
*  The best reason is that this is what you feel God has called you to do because He knows what is best for you and your family.

The Bad Reasons:  These generally fall into the "Pride" category
* You can give your kids the best education possible.  The reason this is bad is that there is no perfect educational system and you are setting too high a bar for both you and the kids.  You will go crazy trying to find the perfect curriculum for your kids and  you might even go crazy when they don't like what you've chosen OR they are slower in some areas.
*  You want to protect them from peer pressure and school bullies.  Here is one problem:  there are adult bullies and your kid needs to be able to handle them.  The second problem is that if you have more than two kids, chances are, you will have a bully-wannabe in your school.  I know that I do.
*  You want to give them a high standard of conduct and limit peer pressure.  This is not bad as long as you can live up to the high expectations you set because the main example they are going to get for behavior will be you.  I know that I haven't.
*  You feel that it is your duty as a good mom.

The Ugly Reasons:  These generally fall into the "It really is more about you than the kids" category
*  You want your kid to be smarter than public school kids, possibly even graduating from college at 18.  This is a lot of pressure to put on you and your kid.  It will damage the relationship, which should be the most important.
*  You want to protect them from the big, bad world.  I have news for you, the big, bad world is inside your house as well as outside.  If you have more than one kid, chances are one of them might turn out to be a bully, or a drifter or a class clown.  All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
*  Your friends are all doing it and are subtly invoking adult peer pressure to get you to join their circle.

This advice is given to you by someone who decided to homeschool for good and bad reasons and initially dabbled in an ugly reason.  The bad and ugly reasons will haunt you as your children grow up.  Each year, after you have a break for a few weeks from the grind, it is a good idea for you and your spouse to review your decision, review your reasons, and review the curriculum that you are using.  The reason for this is to make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons.  Review the curriculum you are using to make sure that it is working for you and your family and that you are not becoming a slave to the curriculum.

If you homeschool and have any other reasons that I haven't included, please add them in the comments section.

Happy Homeschooling--or Not!

A Revolutionary Skit

This is something I wrote up so the kids would have fun summarizing the contributing factors leading to the American Revolution.  We performed it impromptu, with no props or preparation.  Use it as you wish.

portrait by Allan Ramsay, 1762,
courtesey of Wikipedia

Prelude to Revolution

Purpose: To summarize the rising conflict between Britain and the English Colonies that led to the Declaration of Independence and the American Revolution. It contains the primary laws that Parliament passed for the colonies and possibly how King George and Parliament viewed the colonists.  Put the King and Parliament on one side of the room and the Colonists on the other side of the room.

King: OK, colonists, we have sent part of our army to protect you from the big, bad Frenchman during the wars we were waging with France. We won the wars....

Colonists: (doing a happy dance)  Yay!

Parliament: But now we need to keep those soldiers there to protect you in case those big, bad Frenchman attack you again.

King: Or in case the Indians attack you.

Parliament: Or in case the Spaniards attack you. And by the way, you need to provide food and shelter for the soldiers and give us money to pay them in the form of Taxes.

Colonist 1: But we don't want the soldiers. We can protect ourselves from Indians.

(King and Parliament laugh)

King: (To Parliament) Isn't that cute, how they think they can take care of themselves. (To the Colonists): I know that you THINK you are big enough and strong enough to handle things for yourselves. However, if it wasn't for us, you would be speaking French!

Colonist 2 (speaking low): If it wasn't for you, there wouldn't have BEEN any wars

King: What was that?

Colonists: Nothing

Parliament: By the way, we need more money from you. Your king and your country have spent all our money on the wars. So we are going to tax 3 cents on every gallon of molasses that you buy from us.

Colonist 1: Wha???

Colonist 2: We hardly make any money on selling rum as it is!

Parliament: OK, we will make it one cent.

Colonist 1: That is still unfair!

Parliament: (grumbling). Fine. Have it your way. Instead, we are passing a law that says that you HAVE to entertain soldiers and pay for them to protect you. AND We are making you buy stamps in order to get newspapers, playing cards, diplomas, wills and some other legal documents.

Colonist 2: Wha??? We don't even want the soldiers here. If you can't afford them, send them home!

Colonist 1: You are trying to trick us. This Stamp Act is nothing more than another way to tax us.

Colonist 2: You know, you keep making rules for us. We are Englishmen. We deserve to be represented in Parliament if you are going to start making laws for us.

Colonist 1: That's right!

Parliament: (laughing). Oh, they are so CUTE when they are mad, aren't they, your Highness?

King: Yes, yes. But, too soon, they grow up and if we don't show them who is boss now, they will grow from little tyrants to big ones.

Colonist 1: We think we can govern ourselves, thank you very much. Please restore our home legislatures.
King (to Parliment):  See what I mean

Parliament: Well, instead, we are going to write laws for you. We will be your legislature.

Colonist 2: Then let us have representation in Parliament, please.

Parliament: Maybe when you get older. But right now, Daddy will take care of you and tell you what to do.

Colonist 1: You forget that we have been taking care of ourselves for quite a while now. You have no right to take representation away from us.

King: You are subject to your King and you will do as we say.

Parliament: And what we say is that you will pay duties on imports. We are sending our customs agents to you now to make sure you pay for everything that comes into your ports. We are calling it the Townsend Act.

Colonists: That is taxation without representation! We protest!

Parliament: You know, you are being quite a pain. But I will make a deal: you will only have to pay an duty on tea.

Colonist 1: (to Colonist 2): Let's buy tea from somewhere else.

Colonist 2: (to Colonist 1): Great idea.

King: Oh Colonists. You have to buy tea from us. We are sending ships loaded with tea for you and are cutting the price. But you MUST buy tea from your daddy.

Colonist 1: (to Colonist 2): Are you thinking what I am thinking?

Colonist 2: (to Colonist 1): To have a tea party and dump all the tea into the harbor?

Colonist 1: Yes!

(Colonists pretend to dump the tea into the harbor)

King: That does it. You have REALLY made me mad now. Close Boston Harbor until they pay for all the tea they have ruined! Do not let the Massachusetts legislature make any rules. Give the governor full power. And fire the current governor who let this happen and make one of the generals there the new governor!

Parliament: Aye, aye, Captain!

Colonist 1: Those acts are intolerable!

Colonist 2: Now we are really angry. We are going to get together and form the 1^st Continental Congress to come up with a list of grievances.

(Colonists huddle together and whisper)

To the king:

Colonist 1: We will not do any more business with you.

Colonist 2: And we will start organizing militias.

King: Who do you think you are?!!! Without my help, you would have all starved or become subjects of France. I am the only one who can make decision for you and if you don't obey me by choice, you WILL obey my soldiers!!!!!

Have a child read the Declaration of Independence. Stop them every few sentences to rephrase or ask another student to rephrase what was just said. The child who reads can be a younger student and then the older children can interpret it, if they can. Help them.

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The Good:  This didn't take a lot of time and the kids had fun hamming it up.

The Bad:  I found errors as we read through it.  Feel free to make some changes and improvements.

The Ugly:  Nothing ugly that I can see.  You might have a different opinion.

Mad Scientist Moment

This idea comes to you from "The King of Random", a Youtube personality.  Don't ask me how I stumbled onto his site, I can't remember.  I was inspired by my youngest, who wants to be an inventor to look up cool experiments to do at home. And yes, we used potatoes to make the starch. The technical term for this is a non-newtonian liquid.  An alternative fun name for it is "oobleck."




The Good:  You can talk to your kids about starch and its uses.  You can dig deeper for the older kids and look up the elements that compose starch, view the molecule and dig into its properties. Making starch with potatoes is a patience-building exercise, which is always a good thing.  Also, hash browns for lunch was a nice change of pace.  We could also talk about how the potatoes changed color over time due to oxidation.  The kids loved bringing in the bottle of tonic water into the laundry room with our UV flashlight to see it glow.  Scorpions also glow under UV light, by the way, which is why we have one.  Summertime nights in Arizona mean hunting scorpions.

The Bad:  This experiment uses a LOT of dishes, which meant a lot of cleanup.  However, you can also buy potato starch if you don't want the clean up or, as he mentions, use corn starch for the same effect.  The amount of starch produced by slightly less than five pounds of potatoes is really small.  In fact, I poured too much tonic water and had to add corn starch to the mixture, which foiled my desire to make a second batch using tonic water and corn starch to compare the texture of the two.  Drat!

The Ugly:  The pan used to fry the potatoes was super ugly to clean up afterwards.  I need to learn how to make hash browns without getting the potato to chemically bond to the bottom of the pan.  If you have any suggestions, please put them in the comments.

Crab Grab game

I am teaching at our co-op today with older elementary students about crustaceans and developed a game you can play to show how a crustacean's chelipads (claws) make really bad hands.

Materials needed:

• a mitten for a hand for each team (or each person has one mittened hand)
• a bag of small items for each team.  
• a cup for each team

How to play:

• Divide the group into even teams (if possible).  
• Place the bag of items near each team member and a cup on the opposite side of the room.
• The bag of small items should have as many small items for each team member to go through at least once.
• Give each team a mitten (Optional:  you can have each team member wear a mitten).  The mitten should be worn so that the pointer finger goes into each glove to mimick a crab's claw or chelipads.
• Have the teams start at the same time.  The team member with the mitten on has to pick up one small item and carry it over to the cup and drop it into the cup.  Once the item is in the cup, the child runs back and gives the mitten to the next person in line to put on the same way.
• Repeat until all the items are place in the cup

I used quarters in a sandwhich bag for the small items.  Pencils or maybe pick-up sticks (wooden shish-ka-bob skewers) might also work.  I live in the desert, where it doesn't snow, so I limited the number of mittens needed.   Fortunately, I haven't yet thrown out all the mittens with missing partners we gathered when we lived in the Chicago area, where mittens and gloves are a necessity from November to at least February, sometimes March or April.

The Good:  It will bring home the fact that chelipads are used mainly for cutting, not grabbing and help kids to see how useful opposable thumbs really are.

The Bad:  The sandwich bags into which I put the quarters broke pretty easily as the kids frantically grabbed for quarters.  Frustration levels for kids who are less coordinated are rather high.  I wouldn't necessarily recommend it for younger elementary kids, unless you find some bigger items, like maybe blocks.  

The Ugly:  Some mittens, like the one pictured are pretty ugly.  The worst, though, was a small, filthy, pink mitten with stars made for 5-year old hands.  It is a solo mitten and will be tossed at the end.  

The purpose of debate: Bill Nye vs. Ken Hamm

When I heard that there was going to be a debate between Bill Nye and Ken Ham, I was pretty excited.  I was not under any delusion that either group would be declared a winner and that the question of evolution or creation be decided once and for all.  After all, people who have already made up their minds about something usually don't change them easily.  In fact, I was pretty sure that most people who walk away thinking the opposing side represented the "idiots" though I had already determined that I would not be one of them. Unfortunately, I was not disappointed.  And in this God reminded me of a passage in Acts 17:16-34 where Paul is called to give a presentation before philosophers in Athens.  At the end, they all walked away and only a few people immediately made a decision for Jesus, but the ideas were planted.  There is no other mention of Athens in the rest of Acts, though Paul does travel through Greece at a later time.

Watching the debate was a requirement, even for my youngest, even though he is not of the age where he can really reason well.  I required it because I do not want my kids to be ignorant of the issues surrounding the debate of origins or on the views and evidence provided by both sides.  Most of my kids are at an age where they can understand reason and logic and I want them to develop that skill, especially since the vast majority of arguments in all arenas seems to be based on emotions rather than reasoning.  So the next day I asked my kids some questions and made them think through their answers.  It was difficult initially for them to get over their anger at Bill Nye for his attitude toward Biblical Creationists and didn't want to give him credit for anything.  However, when I pushed them, we had a great discussion about the debate and they were able to acknowledge the good and bad points of each presentation.  I would encourage all families, regardless of where you stand on evolution, young earth creation or old earth creation to watch the video and ask your kids the following questions to encourage critical thinking:

1.  What points did Bill Nye make did you consider to be valid points supported by evidence?

2.  What fallacies or assumptions in Bill Nye's arguments did you find?

3.  What points did Ken Ham make did you consider to be valid points supported by evidence?

4.  What fallacies or assumptions in Ken Ham's arguments did you find?

5.  Who had the better organized presentation?

6.  Who provided the most evidence for their position?

7.  Who handled the rebuttal better?

8.  Who had the best, most convincing answers to the questions?

9.  Did anything said during the debate change your mind?

This debate also helped us put in practice the grace that God gives us to share with others who don't believe what we believe and even put us down for our beliefs by seeing the good in people.  After all, even though Bill Nye has a harsh opinion towards Christians and considers me, my husband who works in engineering, and my kids anti-science, he still has produced an excellent science program that we can enjoy despite our disagreements over origins-based science.  And for the record, I am still a fan of Bill Nye even if we disagree on how the earth was created, because there are a lot of scientific facts that have nothing to do with origin's based science and because Bill Nye "Science Guy" program does such a great job of explaining science to kids.

The Good:  Exposing kids to opposing beliefs so that they can think through their own beliefs;  Seeing the debate process and analyzing it; identifying and discussing underlying assumptions made by both sides of the debate, even if they were not explicitly stated; showing kids that you can still admire someone for the positive contributions they have made to your life (in this case the "Bill Nye The Science Guy" programs which do such an excellent job of teaching scientific concepts) even if you disagree with a position that they are taking and even if they insult you.
The Bad:  Watching your children's reaction when a man they admire greatly calls them an idiot.
The Ugly:  Bill Nye's inability to acknowledge the fact that scientists and technologists who believe in the Biblical creation account exist despite several direct examples provided by Ken Hamm.  His adherence to this form of evolutionist propaganda was only slightly worse than his attempt to prove his "Creationists are anti-science idiots who will ruin America's technological advantage over the world".  In my opinion, he not only failed to provide any evidence that anti-science sentiment only comes from Christians but also failed to provide evidence that America is technologically advanced over the rest of the world.  That did not keep him from repeating the sentiment, however in the hope that repeating a lie will make it true.  

Gift from Jesus

When we only had two kids, a two-year old and baby, my husband got the idea to pray and ask God for Bible verses for each child.  It might have been inspired by a Focus on the Family broadcast or just an idea from God.  I bought a couple of small scrapbooks to make the verse look "pretty".  It is the only form of scrapbooking I have ever done.  There have been only two years that he missed in the twelve years since that first Christmas.  And we have added two other kids to our house since then.  When we started, we wrapped them and put them under the Christmas tree and the kids opened them before any other gifts.  But somehow, God's word couldn't compete against toys.  Eventually, I realized that there is another holiday near Christmas called Epiphany or Three Kings Day on which some churches commemorate the day that the wise men gave baby Jesus gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.  It is the twelfth day after Christmas, January 6th.  And it gives my husband an extra week to get verses.  Score!  My first attempts to be creative were quite pitiful before I got Hallmark Card Studio and was able to create "masterpieces".  This year, however, Hallmark kept crashing when I wanted to use the art studio function, so I decided quickly to create the display with just paper, scissors, a glue stick and different markers/pens.  Below are the results of my work:

To make the castle, I drew out what I wanted on the backside of the paper so pencil lines wouldn't show.  I had to "wing it" with the writing because pencil lines would not show up at all against the brown.  The markers I used are above the book

This was a LONG verse, so Sharpies couldn't be used.  Good thing I had felt tip pens, too!  I used the cookie cutter above the book and I outlined on the yellow paper and put it against some red paper with the idea of cutting out the yellow and red simultaneously and then cutting out a heart shape out of the yellow so that the red would show through.  Eventually, I decided to have the red paper peeping out on one side.  I drew writing lines in pencil before writing the verse.

Again, I created the shield by drawing it on the backside of the paper.  I made the cross by cutting a strip of red paper that was 1/4" thick and cutting it down to size.  Originally, I was going to have the entire verse on the shield, but there was so much room that I decided to have some of the verse surround the shield.  

I used a bigger cookie cutout of a man for this because the book is bigger.  I cut out a red heart from the same paper I used to make the cross on the shield and the paper man for the other verse.  I wrote everything out in pencil first to correctly place the heart and didn't use guidelines for the writing, which is why it might look a little messy.

As you can see, I am not VERY gifted artistically, but I try to make it look interesting and get a theme based on the verse.  I really love the gold, silver and bronze Sharpie markers, which I picked up when we were doing an illumination project as part of our Middle Ages studies.  

The Good:  Our children will work on memorizing the scripture and I will encourage them to ask God why He gave them that particular verse.  This will go with them when they become adults so that they have a tangible way of seeing how God has been working in their lives and how well He knows them.

The Bad:  Bad artwork, oh wait, I should put that in the "ugly" section.  The kids would tell you that memorizing scripture is a pain and this makes it bad, but seriously, I can't think of anything bad about this other than the many little mistakes I made that you probably wouldn't notice but I would because I know what I wanted it to look like.  

The Ugly:  My mood when Hallmark Card Studio refused to let me do ANYTHING.  It soon passed as God quickly gave me other ideas and blessed the work of my hands so that I didn't make any mistakes copying the verse.  (Mistakes are what make my work uniquely mine, but I am glad the mistakes were very tiny this year as opposed to the years where I got the date wrong or put a verse on the wrong page).

I published this too late for anyone to implement it for this Christmas, but it could also be done for first days of school, birthday present or as an Easter present.  

Etiquette Matters follow up

We have been working on ways to encourage the people in our family to stay focused rather than being bossy, which is coming from a position of superiority.  I had looked up encouraging phrases on the internet which we reviewed with very  little success.   Then, of course, I prayed about it and asked God to give us a good example to follow.  Last week, we finished reading 2 Timothy and the question of what book to study next was presented.  I like getting input from the kids and two of them had suggestions.  The next morning, as I was praying about which one to use, God told me to study Philemon for a day.  As soon as I read it, I knew why:

"Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love."  
Philemon 1:8-9

This is a beautiful picture of how to encourage people rather than be bossy.  Then I realized that I had some apologizing to do to my kids, because my example is NOT to appeal to them, but to use and abuse my God-given authority over them to get them to do what I want.  What a change I have seen since, both in myself and in my kids.

On a side note, I heard an interesting statistic this week regarding new habits that reminds me of how much grace is needed when trying to change:  It takes three YEARS before a new habit truly replaces the old habit and become an unconscious act.  So if we work diligently to treat others with respect, it will probably take three years before we stop having to think so much about it.

God bless!
Kris

Etiquette Matters

As I have seen my oldest become a bit uncertain in social situations, the thought occurred that some of what is lacking is training in social graces.  And as I considered and prayed, I realized that, as a family, we would all benefit from learning these skills. My parents taught me basic manners, but it has been a long time since getting that education, so I decided to get a book about it and come up with a plan for teaching it to my kids.  The book I decided to get is called Protocol Matters by Sandra Boswell.  If you want a pre-packaged etiquette curriculum, this isn't it, but it is a great background book and has brought a Christian perspective to the idea of etiquette.  It also has verses in the Bible that back up the rules.  My favorite line in the book so far is this:

"Christian protocol is one of God's lovely means of grace.  We all need much help in learning how to behave graciously towards one another, and protocol provides a simple means to that end--rules that demonstrate respect, kindness and brotherly love."

And honestly, I need a lot of help in this area.  In most things regarding homeschooling, I feel like the blind leading the blind, or, to put it another way, learning with my kids as we go.  Also, with most things, when we try to do something that involves discipline and character improvement, we have many instances of complete failure and sometimes, I am the one leading my kids to the failure point.  As DC Talk said so eloquently:  "It only serves to confirm my suspicion that I am still a (wo)man in need of a Savior."  It is also a good way to show the kids that when "we lose our way, we get back up again, never too late to get back up again." (TobyMac).

I decided to start on a topic that involves family's weak point in conversation--how to converse respectfully in all circumstances, especially to each other.   Since we are together so much, familiarity can breed contempt, as they say and what I am working VERY hard for myself and my kids is to talk respectfully even when the other person is driving us crazy or being unkind.  And I am trying to focus on the heart issues, not just on the behavior.  The heart issue I think in our family is to show respect to people even when they are not acting like they deserve respect or acting respectfully to others, because all humans are made in the image of God and because God not only shows us respect but LOVE to all humans, even though, by our actions, we don't deserve it.  And I illustrated the heart of etiquette as a house:

Grace is the foundation of etiquette, as this book discusses.  Love is the roof because "...love covers over a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8).  One of the pillars of etiquette is respect, not just in speech, but in attitude, which is found in 1 Peter 2:17.   Our church is encouraging its members to fulfill God's mission of bringing the gospel to the world by B.L.E.S.S.ing God, family and neighbors, and I thought it would be another good pillar for etiquette because the purpose of etiquette is to bless others.  A long time ago, someone taught me the acronym T.H.I.N.K before you speak:  Before saying something ask yourself if what you are about to say is True, Helpful, Interesting, Necessary (this is the "gotcha") or Kind.  If it fails any of these things, reword it or be silent.  I still need to THINK more. I linked it to love and blessings because it is a verbal way to bless and show love to others.  And basic trust is, in some respects, necessary in all human interactions, though our ability to trust deepens as we get to know people better.  And of course, trust is developed when we show respect.  The verses written in house will be our memory verses for the year.  

To encourage respectful dialogue, we have implemented a money-based reward system which is linked to electronic media privileges.  They get money by making a respectful request the first time or by reporting a respectful request made to them by someone else.  They can lose money by  being disrespectful UNLESS, when their disrespectful behavior is highlighted, they apologize repentantly.  Money is used to get electronics privileges (TV, video games, etc.).  I am rewarding them when they bring to my attention something good that a sibling did because I want them to learn how to encourage others to do good works.  When I am consistent, this is a good reward system.  But take the idea and create your own reward system that works for your family.  I also take time out to ask the kids to re-word what sounds like a demand into a respectful request, whether they are speaking to me or to a sibling.  If they don't know how to say it (or are unwilling to think on their own), I "help" them by giving them a respectfully worded request and ask them to repeat it, which they do with gritted teeth.

It seems as I have been trying to deal with my heart and those of my kids, many things have come up which have made it difficult to live out this ideal.  And many of us are using muscles that have atrophied from disuse and are groaning and complaining at us for making them work so hard, so the grace I am trying to show my kids is to forgive them when they are having difficulty, encourage them to keep trying, and keep showing them how even making an effort has made the house a more pleasant place to live.  The key to making this work better is not only be a good example and to confess when you become a horrible warning, but also to be consistent and quick with the rewards and to keep your attention focused on catching them doing something right.

As I have been working on this for a few weeks my evaluation in terms of my blog title is as follows:

The good:  Our house is generally more peaceful, even during times of extreme stress and even with hormonal women.  Progress is slowly being made.  Philippians 4:3-8 has been memorized and some kids are even applying it.  

The bad:  I am not consistent with giving money.  To help this problem, I just tell the kids when to get money and how much to take.  Sometimes, when I try to teach kids a more respectful way to make a request, they sulk, refuse to think for themselves and even try to refuse to say it "my way."  Or they will say it my way with gritted teeth and glaring at the person or at me or at both of us.  This has created discussions about how showing respect involves words, tone and body language.  I have had very few kids tell me of a sibling's respectful request, even though I am sure that respectful requests are being made.

The ugly:  The strong willed ones would rather lose money than apologize/admit that they were wrong.  The kids have gone through a period of time erroneously thinking that they can ignore my requests at times, prompting a family meeting to review how requests should be handled so that momma no longer turns into Mt. Vesuvius when she has had to make a request for the third time.  Mt. Vesuvius is not very respectful.

If you have any suggestions for improvement, leave a comment.

A Brief Introduction

I know that there are so many homeschool-based blogs out there with encouragement.  But my philosophy is that sometimes you can be an encouragement from sharing spectacular failures as well as successes.  I will make weekly submissions as the schedule allows and I will try to make them short and to the point, both for my sake and yours.  But before I start, I thought I would submit the introduction I gave to a homeschool group earlier with names changed to represent their personalities:

I have been married 15 years to my intelligent, perfectly wonderful, goofy husband, who works as a software architect.  I have four children, a 14-year old daughter, "Bananas", who started high school this year (be still my heart), a twelve-year old daughter,  "Peaches" who is two years away from high school (can you tell where my thoughts lie?), a ten-year old son, "Coconut", and an eight-year old son, "Raspberries".  My kids love reading, watching movies and LEGOs as a group.  Bananas is my artistic one and loves all things Tolkien, and is even learning Elf and Dwarf printing as well as calligraphy.  She volunteers in the church nursery twice a month and is really enjoying her "full time" volunteer job at the Mesa Public Library.  Peaches is my musical talent (guitar and piano), pet and kids lover and lover of languages, learning Spanish and French.  She also volunteers at the church nursery twice a month.  Coconut is my baseball and history lover and a "just the facts" kind of guy.  Raspberries is my comedian, storymaker extrordinaire and involved in tae kwon do.  Both girls take aeriels through a church-based arts program as part of their PE.  Both boys are involved in cub scouts, with my older one about to venture into boy scouts this spring.

As far as my hobbies, my husband and I have taken up running together,though he has been sidelined with knee injuries.  I just committed an act of insanity and signed up for the Phoenix Marathon in March and have started my training.  I also try to knit, though I have taken on bigger projects lately that seem to take forever.  Of course, they would take less time if I didn't lay them down in frustration when realizing that YET AGAIN, I have to rip out some of my knitting because of mistakes.  These, of course, are done in our spare time, which is created by using one of those time travel clocks that Hermione Granger used to double up on classes in Harry Potter.

My kids have never been in a public day care setting ever, though they have taken classes through park districts and co-ops and private art lessons.  I put them in a paid sports program when we first moved and even though it was great, the expense became too much, especially when my kids started getting involved in other sports.

I laugh when talking to non-homeschooling moms about homeschooling if  they tell me , "I couldn't do homeschooling because I don't have the patience" or "my kids would drive me crazy" .  The truth is, I haven't had the patience to homeschool either and I am more than halfway there to "crazy."  Patience is a muscle that God has been and is continuing to sculpt in me over the past  fourteen years of totally, spectacularly losing my patience with my kids, asking forgiveness from them and from God, receiving God's wisdom for future conflicts and having to let go of the dream of becoming Ma Ingalls.  Through homeschooling, God is also developing my self-discipline muscle and my organization muscle, too.  He has sculpted these muscles through two wonderful kids who are "very strong willed" and extremely strong willed" and two more wonderful kids who are more easygoing but have difficulty with focusing on tasks.  

I have always desired to have homeschooling prepare my kids for life tests, not for paper tests and to that end, I usually have some sort of character trait that I want to develop in my kids and/or some life skill (cleaning house, handling money, etc).  This year's life skill is showing respect and grace even if the other person is not being respectful or kind, because there are THOSE type of people in the world.  Heck, in my house, on any given day, any one of us can be one of THOSE kind of people, which is why we are focusing on this trait.  It started with a desire to help my kids learn basic etiquette and realize that we (notice that I include myself in this?) have a heart issue behind etiquette that needs to be the focus as we learn basic etiquette.  And I know it is a heart issue because the past two weeks have been tempestuous as we work on it and as we learn new patterns.  Two of my kids (guess which ones?) are resisting the lesson.  But through it, God is developing my apparently weak and flabby "grace" muscle, too.  I will be SO spiritually buff by the time my homeschool journey is over, even if my body shape looks more like an overripe peach.  

And this is why I homeschool, so that my kids can see that living and loving involves spectacular triumphs and failures, that God's grace and love cover a multitude of sins and that we work together to get things done, whether the job is spiritual, emotional or physical.  I have a wonderful work-out partner/principal in my husband, who keeps encouraging me when I am discouraged at how tough it seems to accomplish these things and who reminds the kids to be kind and helpful to their poor, worn out mom.

My curriculum is:

• Tapestry of Grace for history, literature, geography, and writing.  I also use their vocabulary lists.
• Math-U-See for everything except Geometry (which is as far as we have gone so far)
• Teaching Textbooks for Geometry (which might persuade me to use it for advanced math, too)
• Duolingo for languages (this is something new), along with help from our native Spanish speakers for practical tips.  We attend a Spanish-English language church, in which every part of the adult church--worship, prayer, and sermon are spoken in both English and Spanish.
• For grammar, I use the schoolhouse rock for the younger kids along with online worksheets.  I have a high school grammar book for my high schooler.